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Introduction

I’ve asked myself over the years:
  • What are you down to these days?
  • Are you getting anywhere or just wearing out your tennis shoes?
  • Are you with it or without it?
  • Do you understand what is going on most of the time?... sometimes?...Ever?
Turns out from my point of view, me and everything around me, has stayed about the same. The birthday suits have changed and the gadgets have changed shape, color and constituency. But a $3,000 stainless steel stove will still burn the stew, though not as fast as the cave man’s fire pot. However the stew that comes off it ain’t no better to us than the cave man’s was to him. It’s all relative.

Sure I’ve received pay raises, promotions etc. like most people. But in spite of it all, I couldn’t afford to buy any more when I retired than I could the first month of my working life. And I was earning 50 times more per hour when I retired.

My life has seen the invention and exploitation of more gadgets and systems of gadgets than I can remember, but I think these things just help occupy our minds and hands, thus keeping us out of mischief most of the time. It’s really nice to microwave a frozen burrito, but I still crave and rave over the excellence of a barbecued hamburger, steak or fish, a la faceless dog. Nevertheless, according to Compton’s encyclopedia, the following was going on circa 500,000 BC.

I drove past a new high school the other day. Looked like an estate in Beverly Hills, CA except it also had a football field, baseball diamond, tennis courts and who knows what else that has nothing to do with education. Seems to me, one room school houses have provided the basics for many of the world’s geniuses. Yet the last time I saw a rating on today’s kids, we have the dumbest kids in the whole world!

I believe similar analogies can be applied to man’s social behavior, criminal behavior, sexual behavior, sexual misbehavior, entertainment, ecstasies, agonies, and so on. I have concluded this is all predictable. Not precisely but generally.
We were all introduced to what is commonly called the "Bell Curve" in grade school when the teacher put the results of our first test on the blackboard. Remember the scores? A few B's and D's, maybe one or two A's and F's and a whole bunch of C's. Most of us got a "C". Sure there were one or two brainy suckers that took the test with an ink pen and copped an "A".

The point is the activity of the group (any group) never changes. It's always the same! It always follows the "Bell" curve.

For example, most of the group do exactly the same thing like work for the going hourly rate. A small group does something notably better, like sell for a percentage of the take. Another small group does something bad like steal for a percentage of the pawn. A few will do something great like become president and live in the White House and the last few will do something stupid like shoot a president and live in the "Big House". Human behavior is all related to the bell curve.

I've illustrated the bell curve on a universal scale that registers the happenings of plain everyday life. I call it the Whatever and Whoever scale. It relates whatever people are doin' to whoever is doin' it. I believe understanding this scale is like having a personal cheat-sheet to keep you posted on what's happenin' all around you. Everything people do will always jive closely with the five basic positions on the bell curve.

I often wonder where they find the people who buy certain products. The answer is in the curve. Consider that there are approximately 250 million people in the U.S. That means there are:
  • 5 million top dogs
  • 35 million snobbish dogs
  • 170 million faceless dogs
  • 35 million foolish dogs
  • 5 million dopey dogs
Anyone smarter than a stereo woofer knows that a boom box will make you stone deaf before you pay it off. I figure that those who buy boom boxes must be stone dumb so their hearing will eventually match their mentality. Alas, according to the curve, there is a market for at least 5 million boom boxes among stone dumb dopey dogs - just in the U.S. alone! Now if you consider the 6 billion population of the planet, there is a market for 120 million boom boxes world wide. They can sell boom boxes forever!

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